Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Exam Room 1: Marital Problems, Miscommunication

Sun Cho:    Flagstaff Private Investigators, Sun Cho speaking.

Madman:    Sweetie, it’s Madman, we need to talk about-

Sun Cho:    Excuse me, excuse me, sir, I believe you’ve dialed the wrong number.

Madman:    No, this is my wife’s cell.

Sun Cho:    I’m positive it is not. This is the landline to my private investigative office. So, unless this building is illegally housing your spouse, which as the proprietor, I’d know about, I suggest you try a different number.

Madman:    You don’t understand, the zombie snuck the phone card to me.

Sun Cho:    What the hell are you talking about?

Madman:     My wife! Keep up, will you?

Sun Cho:     No, the zom- Hold on. Did you say your name was Madman?

Madman:     Yes.

Sun Cho:    And a zombie told you to call this number?

Madman:    Yes.

Sun Cho:    Um, not trying to pry into your personal affairs or anything, but may I ask which mental hospital you escaped from?

Madman:    I fail to see how that is not prying into my personal affairs.

Sun Cho:    Apologies, I’m only trying to help.

Madman:    Don’t worry about it. Actually, on second thought, I think I found the mistake. What century are you presently in?

Sun Cho:     What? Um, the twenty-first.

Madman:     I’m so sorry, this is all my fault. I forgot to factor in the time difference with this demented demon on my tail.

Sun Cho:    Okay, I’m going to forget you ever mentioned a demon. Although, I would like to know, are you implying you do not reside in the same century as me?

Madman:    Does that really come as a huge shock? Everyone knows these phones can be a bit temperamental with the different time zones, especially the ones in Budapest; for all this planet has to offer, the reception sucks.

Sun Cho:     Planet?

Madman:    What? Did you think I was talking about that dingy little Earth city?

Sun Cho:    Admittedly, that was the first place that popped into my head.

Madman:    Look here, Sunny, as thrilling as this conversation has been, I have to hang up. I really need to speak with my wife and the demon is about to break through the mystic wards.

Sun Cho:    I’m not entirely sure how to respond to that.

Madman:    Good luck would suffice.

Sun Cho:    Good luck then? Hope to never meet you in person.

The PI quickly hung up, only to have the phone start ringing once more.

Sun Cho:    Still not your wife, Madman!

Female Caller:    I’d hope not, I’m his wife.

Sun Cho:    This day cannot get any stranger.

Female Caller:    Where’s my husband?

Sun Cho:    Last I heard he’s trying to call you from a demon possessed location.

Female Caller:    Stupid zombie. This line needs to be cleared; I’m going to change your number.

Sun Cho:    Don’t do that! We’ve had this number for over a decade. The locals aren’t accustom to change, they’ll riot and refuse to accept it, consequently I will run out of business.

Female Caller:    ...

Sun Cho:    Ma’am? Mrs. Madman?

Female Caller:    ...

Sun Cho:    She hung up, didn’t she? Damn it! Jimmy is going to kill me.

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