I hereby declare and decree my last will and testament. Being of sound mind and under my own volition, I distribute my earthly possessions. Although, some might object to my soundness of mind, but that is neither here nor there, for who is truly qualified to draw the line of sanity?
It has come to my attention that a certain member from the higher ranks of my faithful enemies has placed a bounty on my dead, decapitated head. And as much as I mourn the day my body is stolen away from my beautiful mind, I must confess, the price for my death is disturbingly low. Admittedly, I may be a little bias in light of my current occupation.
Therefore, to compensate for the unforgivably low paycheck my assassin will receive upon the day of my death, I bequeath all my wealth to the man who successfully kills me. Also, to be accompanied with his inheritance, a blanketed apology for the trouble I will have no doubt caused him as he tried to murder me. For I will have put up quite a fight and given him many sleepless nights of frustration as he unsuccessfully tried every way he could think of to end my life.
Before these witnesses and before the Red Sun, I sign this document with my own hand.
(Legal name: unknown)